(New) Binky to the Rescue, A Lord When Story by John Pirillo

Binky to the Rescue

A Lord When Story

by John Pirillo

 

The cowboy hat kept falling off his head. His head kept falling over his chest. His chest wanted to fall over to the control panel. He hadn't been that tired in a long time. He yawned, and pushed the hat back for the thousandth time. It was a long flight. They weren't traveling Tran's time, but instead Tran's space and that took a bit longer.

"Binky. Co-ordinates."

Binky stood up on his back feet and peered into his face. "That doesn't compute."

"And why not?"

"Because we're already there."

Lord When sat up straight. He spun around to look at the chronometer. "Dang it, Binky, where'd all that time go?"

"That doesn't compute either."

Lord When sighed. Binky was a lovable companion, but not too slick on the rational side of things sometimes. He slid the control panel into its recess, punched off his seat belt, then clambered to his feet, almost slamming his head into the overhead beam that curved down the middle of the time boat to the fore screen where he could watch their travel in real time, if not through a real window. The exigencies of space and time travel required that all windows be made of a time hardened material that only allowed images in when connected directly to the proper instrumentation. In this case the fore screen. 

Were you to stand outside the time ship, it would appear to be a barbell kind of shape, with rows of windows and a central door, but that would be wrong. The inside of the ship was shaped much differently, for inside the laws of time and space were inverted and it didn't appear bar bell shaped at all, but more like a comfortable motor home, with plenty of compartments for the usual things, like sleeping, eating, elimination and so forth.

"Binky, why didn't you wake me up?"

"That doesn't compute..."

"Binky!"

"Lord When, if you're going to continue being so grouchy when I wake you up, I shall let you sleep through the entire mission, while I attend to the details of solving it. I'm more than capable of doing that, you know!" Binky scalded him, his electronic eyes blinking angrily.

"I'm sorry, Bink. We need a holiday."

"This is a holiday!" Binky reminded his friend and companion. These humans were so dumb sometimes he thought to himself. His own mind ran at about a trillion bits a second faster than the smartest human of all time, who was Albert Einstein, but he usually trimmed it down to about half a trillion so Lord When could keep up with him. He never let his friend know that, humans were so vain about their vast intellects.

"Wait. You're right." Lord When said, snapping his fingers. "So let's get off this boat and party!"

Binky let out an emission of extreme distress. 

"Now what?"

"I don't know what a party is." Binky reported. "Is it dangerous?"

Lord When fell to the floor laughing so hard his belly ached.

"If I had emotions I would hate you now." Binky said.

Lord When laughed even harder yet.

"But I don't."

Binky stepped past his companion and activated the airlock, allowing the boarding ramp to descend to the ground outside. He exited without a look back.

Lord When came dashing out, arms akimbo. "Wait for me!"

Binky was already half way across the green lawn they had landed on, and headed for the shade of a very large tree, whose foliage appeared to have multiple shaped fruits dangling from its branches.

Lord When looked at the fruits. "Reminds me of our old apple trees back home."

"You never had apple trees." Binky reminded him.

"Well I would have, if you hadn't kidnapped me."

"I didn't kidnap you. I helped you run away from a very bad situation."

"Right. That."

Lord When and Binky stopped beneath the tree. Lord When turned about, causing his longish hair to float in a soft breeze for a moment. He shoved his cowboy hat back and eyed the time boat. It was all bright and sparkly. They had launched through a water cluster star and cleansed it thoroughly with heavy water. It was the only kind of water that could cleanse the time-hardened metal without rusting it.

During rainstorms, they cloaked the ship in an anti-water shield that caused the water to pour off in streams all about it, which is why they usually went on their missions when there was no rain falling, as it was a sure give away for the time boat if rainfall happened. It outlined the ship, revealing its position and shape perfectly.

"It's so peaceful here."

"My master, the old Lord When, he used to come here when he was younger." Binky reminisced. "He told me it was special."

"I wonder why."

"I supposed we'll find out if we stay long enough and don't have another emergency."

"Speaking of which, Binky."

"Yes?"

"Don't move!"

"That doesn't compute!"

"Oh it will."

Lord When tossed his cowboy hat like a saucer and it slammed into a branch that had been slithering down and wrapping about Binky's electronic body. The branch let out a tiny shriek and withdrew overhead.

Lord When and Binky both looked up the same time as a cluster of branches, shaped like snakes slipped into view and whipped towards them.

"Looks like vacation is over!"

"That computes!" Binky agreed, and then let out an emission of electronic shocks, which protected his body from further attacks, but Lord When wasn't so lucky. 

When Binky looked at him, he was getting wrapped as tightly as a mummy in shrouds.

Lord When looked at him. "Uh think now would be a good time to help me out, partner."

Binky shot a burst of electricity into the mass of attacking branches and they shot back upwards into the canopy.

Lord When and Binky hurriedly left the shelter of the tree and once out of range, turned around to look at the tree. 

"I wonder what that fruit is for?" Lord When asked.

Then the fruit began launching at them.

They both ran as they were pelted with fruit that when it struck them, emitted gross smelling gases.

Once back inside the ship and the ramp and hatch inside and sealed, Lord When headed for the bathroom to take a long shower. He finished and came back out to the control room, where Binky was examining the control panel. 

"Lord When you put in the wrong co-ordinates. We were supposed to travel to the planet on the opposite side of the cluster."

"Oh. Well that computes."

Binky gave Lord When an electronic sigh.

"Don't worry, Binky. I'll get it right this time."

Lord When sat down and began punching in the correct co-ordinates. 

And you know what, once they'd found the new planet, they both had a very pleasant and long rest. At least until....