Jewel of a Thousand Stars: Giddy Up, Gnobs

Back in the early 2000s I was working on a full length motion picture project for children. I had gathered together a fantastic team of artists, musicians and producers to make it happen. We had a great screenplay, lots of everything we needed to make it a go, but no money.

So I began raising money. It was easy at first, but then guess what...Wall Street tanked the money market, killing all venture funds and motion picture funds for independents like me. So the film never got made, which broke my heart at the time, but I'm not one to go around licking my wounds forever.
So, now i've delved back into that wonderful storyline to come up with more tales from the movie that might have been: Jewel of a Thousand Stars.

I've written one novelette in the series, "Jewel of a Thousand Stars: Giddy," which is available on Amazon  and Smashwords for 99cents.

Over time I hope to write many, many more stories about one of most fun places to visit, and w hich I think most adults and children would love to visit as well.

Enjoy this taste of one of the loves of my life!


--John--

Jewel of a Thousand Stars: Giddy Up, Gnobs

 

For the ten thousandth time that day Giddy poured over the instructions in the book. "Add one ounce of cat fur, two ounces of dragon scales, three ounces of fire sticks, one whisker from an angry giant and two fingernails from an imp."

"Ouch!" Gnobs cried out as Giddy tried plucking one of his fingernails off his hand and then succeeded.

"Be still, Gnobs, I need one more."

"Giddy!" Pleaded Gnobs, rolling his big frog-shaped eyes on his huge green head. "You're killing me!"

Giddy  looked up from the magical book that James had loaned him and frowned. "You can grow a thousand more. So be still, you little imp!"

Gnobs missing fingernail regrew. He gave Giddy a nasty look.

"I'm not an imp. I'm a shape-shifter."

"This magical potion won't know the difference." Giddy protested blithely, plucking another fingernail off Gnobs' other hand.

"Ouch! You big metal Meany!" Cried out Gnobs, swiftly regrowing the second plucked fingernail.

"I am not a Meany, I'm just making sure that this formula works." He looked up from the concoction he was putting into the small pewter bowl, then at Gnobs. "If this works, you'll be a real boy. Like Pinocchio."

"Who?"

"Never mind." Giddy snapped back at him, his temper shortening by the minute. Why couldn't his little friend ever just stay still and listen.

Which brought him back to Gnobs once more who was now hanging from the ceiling and bouncing his right hand like a rubber ball. "Bouncy, bouncy!" Gnobs laughed as he played with his hand.

"You're such an imp! You little rascal." Giddy threw at Gnobs.

Gnobs grinned. "I'm not..."

"I know. I know. I know, but you are a pain in the...well you would be if I had one." Giddy said looking at his metal bottom.

You see Giddy's skin was unlike other human's skin, just as Gnobs body was unlike most other creatures. Giddy had been cursed some years back by a disgruntled Witch, who was annoyed with him for being so cocky and she thought to teach him a lesson. He frowned, or was it a wizard? He couldn't rightly remember clearly anymore. All he knew for sure was that blessed little Gnobs, or big Gnobs if he wanted to shape shift into a giant's form, was the one who had saved him. He hadn't told him lately, but he would give his left arm to save his friend's life if he had to.

He looked at his left arm and frowned. "Well maybe just a finger." He changed his mind.

Gnobs looked over at him. "Finger what?"

"Oh nothing!" Giddy replied, stirring them the potion briskly with a dry brush. "Just thinking back to the good old days."

"There are no good old days." Gnobs laughed. "You know that. There's only today and then tomorrow, and then the day after that. Each one's different."

"Yes, and with your intellect...a challenge of giant magnitude!" Snapped Giddy, opening a bottle of fresh spring water to mix the potion together and blend it properly.

Gnobs dropped from the ceiling, bounced a couple of times, then took on his bird form to land on Giddy's knight armored shoulder and peer at the concoction being brewed. "Sure it'll work?"

"Of course I am." Snapped Giddy. "I never fail."

Gnobs shot his eyes out so that they stared into Giddy's. "Giddy!"

"Oh okay. I admit I blew up the Marshall's home that one time."

"Giddy!"

"And Twixt almost lost his tail."

"Giddy!" Sighed Gnobs.

"Very well, you little imp." Giddy snarled. "Have it your way. I do make mistakes. But no one  has ever died from them."

Gnobs raised his eyebrows, which fluttered about the room like a pair of graceful butterflies.

"Oh right. Not yet." Giddy sighed wearily, tiring of the word games. "But this time I know the potion will work."

Giddy finished stirring the spring water into the pewter bowl and stirring it, then eyed Gnobs.
"Now. If you'll just take on your normal form, we can finish this."

"But I don't want to be an ordinary boy." Gnobs protested.

"There are no ordinary boys. Least not from the ages of ten to eighteen." Giddy sighed wearily.
"Now get down there and change!"

Gnobs dropped to the floor and sprouted back into his short frog-like form. He put his hands on his hips as if daring Giddy to change him, then grinned.

Giddy smiled, then poured the potion all over Gnobs.

They both stood there staring at each other.

Nothing happened.

Gnobs began to sweat.

Giddy began to sweat.

Nothing happened.

Finally Giddy sat down at the worktable he had been mixing his potion on and stuck his head in his arms and began to weep. "Face it Gnobs! I'm nothing but a big metallic jerk. That's all I ever will be!"
Nothing.

"Nothing I do ever turns out right. Not even the time I defeated that dragon that was burning down the village. I had to go and accidentally kill it and make it fall into the village well, spoiling their water supply forever."
"But you saved their lives, Giddy." Gnobs said gently.

Giddy looked up at Gnobs, who was still...well Gnobs, except that he was sprouting tiny dragons all over the top of his head and they were battling with each other.

"I don't know why I put up with you." Giddy sighed, the touch of a smile on his lips.

"Maybe it's because I'm so cute." Gnobs said, sprouting a dress and bright red lipstick on his already bright red lips.

Giddy broke into laughter.

Gnobs danced. "I'm so cute. I'm so cute. I'm so cute."

Fast and Furious 7 preview and gagreel for past movies

Saw the preview for the new Fast and Furious and it looks totally freaked out. If it's even half as good as the last one, it's going to be a screamer!

--John--

So to help the gags go down with mirth, here's the preview as well. A double header today!

The Shasta Caper, Chapter Fifty-Four

Chapter Fifty-Four

Samuel gazed out his narrow view at the changing scenery around them. They had traveled the distance of about ten miles, all of it uphill, but towards the East. Al materialized next to him and made himself comfortable on a piece of machinery to Samuel's right.

"Nice trip."

Samuel glanced at Al uncertainly. "What's so nice about it?"

"Things are moving along nicely."

"For who?" Samuel asked, definitely starting to get mad at Al.

Al looked at him with a solemn look. "The straight path to freedom is not always the best one, Sam. You know that."

Samuel sighed, took a deep breath and looked away. "I understand most men, but not gods, not angels, and definitely not God!"

Al chuckled. "I'm still learning too. Why should you be surprised that you are also on a path of discovery?"

Samuel looked over at Al. He was serious. 

"I thought it all ended when you died. You got the Big Bang in the head and knew everything."

"Samuel, oh Samuel." Al laughed lightly. "How can anything infinite ever be grasped all at once. It's a process, not an explosion."

Al winked at Samuel, then vanished, leaving Samuel to his thoughts.

Several moments later the Mecha stopped, his door swung outwards automatically and two Soldiers urged him out with weapons drawn on him. He obliged them and was allowed to tumble to the ground roughly.

He wouldn't give them the pleasure of knowing it hurt, but instead got up and stretched as if it were no big thing. At least until a third soldier he hadn't seen planted his rifle in his back and stretched him back out on the ground again.

He heard footsteps, then Saran stood over him.

"Trying to teach my men something?"

"They seemed educatable."

"Then you are a fool. They are as dedicated to the Truth as I." Saran blasted.

Samuel dared to sit up. He wasn't struck. He saw Nanny and Jimbo being herded towards a flying ship, where a ramp opened  from it.

"Which truth is that?" Samuel asked honestly.

Saran smiled. "I like a man with an open mind."

Then  he slammed a fist into Samuel's right cheek. "But I am not one of them."

Samuel fell to the ground again.

Saran turned to his men. "See to it that  he is chained inside our craft. If he escapes, I will feed you to the Tubes!"

The Soldiers hustled Samuel to his feet, and he allowed himself to be half dragged, half carried to the ramp, his head reeling with pain.

The interior of the ship was all made of some finely crafted metal that more resembled a combination of glass and fibre. Some kind of marriage of unique materials found only in the interior of the earth no doubt. He pretended to still be half out of his mind, so he could pay more attention to the surroundings. It worked. The Soldiers were satisfied he would offer no more resistance and led him along a corridor with a maze of entrances and exits, soldiers and people dressed in pure white uniforms coming and going.

Once a very tall woman of extreme beauty exited a room he was passing. She was going to ignore him, but when he looked at her, her eyes widened as if in recognition, then she hurried a different direction, looking back at him again and again as she did.

In a minute he was thrown into a cell along with Jimbo and Nanny. They were all chained to the back wall with plastic cuffs for their hands and iron of some kind for their legs. The chains and cuffs could slide up and down, so they could sit on the floor, but awkwardly and not with any degree of comfort.

"I hope this is a short flight." Jimbo announced after their captors had given them a quick once over, then exited, slamming home a sliding door from the ceiling, which threw the room into semi-darkness.

"No such luck." Samuel groaned, his jaw aching where Saran had struck him.

Nanny saw the bruise purpling there and gasped. "Those bastards!"

"Bastard." Samuel corrected her. "Saran."

"I stand corrected." She growled. "He's just the biggest one!"

Jimbo tested his cuffs behind his back, then smiled. "I thought so!"

"Thought so what?" Samuel asked.

"My kid sister used to tie these kind of knots back when we were kids playing lawman."

They heard the plastic cuffs make clicking sounds, then Jimbo stretched his arms out in front of him and began rubbing his wrists. He then looked at his leg chains, an amused look on his face.

"What's so funny?" Samuel and Nanny both asked at the same time.

"Piece of cake." Was all that Jimbo uttered, then he easily unlocked those cuffs as well. He stood up, and then began working on Nanny's. 

Outside the door of the cell Saran watched Jimbo from a screen. An amused look grew on his face. He turned to his adjutant, who stood to his right, face looking straight ahead.

"The Tubes will have a glorious battle tonight. Especially when these fools realize they have excaped the pan, only to leap into the fire!"

"Let the Magistrate know we have fighters for the Tubes tonight!"

"At once, Lord Saran!" The soldier snapped, saluting him, then rushing off down the corridor.