The Chase
"A Professor Challenger Story."
John Pirillo
"Bloody Hell, Challenger, we'll never get to the top of
that monster!"
Challenger eyed his shorter companion, Conan, who was
sweating so badly his jungle outfit was wet through and through. Even his hat,
meant to keep the sun from his eyes, and his skull cool was soaking wet.
"You really need to shed some of those pretty pounds."
Conan bristled. "They are not pretty!"
Challenger smirked.
"I mean."
Challenger softened. "I know. I know." He clapped
a hand on Conan's shoulder. "You've got to look at this climbing as a
necessary part of your life if you intend on continuing to accompany me on
these journeys."
"I'd rather chase Hyde through the gates of hell than
climb another monolith!"
"As I, but what must be done, must be."
Challenger eyed the spire of the mountain, which was
sheathed in a myriad of hands of cloud that squirmed and shimmied like bowls of
liquid oil, colored with snow. "From what I can see if we start now, we
should get half way to the top by nightfall."
Conan gave him a look that could kill. "You said it'd
be a piece of cake!"
"I did, didn't I?" Challenger agreed, and then he
smiled. "Would you have come had I said otherwise?"
Conan said nothing.
"I rest your case."
Challenger put a hand to the rocks above him and began
climbing. "Oh, and I wouldn't wait for me to come back, as the only way
out of this part of Fairie is up there.'
"You stinking, rotten Tosh!"
"Come now, Conan, sticks and butter, you know."
Conan was so frustrated he could punch a hole in the
mountainside, but upon looking at the hardness of it in the light of reason; he
pocketed that thought for more worth flesh, when he got back home and could
tell Challenger exactly what he thought of him while he clubbed his brains out
with his fists.
"I heard those thoughts, Conan. Killing me won't help
you one bit."
Conan raised a fist. "Is there nothing of me you don't
know?"
Challenger paused about ten feet up and looked down.
"Never gave it much thought, but I suppose not. Oh, and by the way there's
something you might want to notice before you decide to play stubborn much
longer."
"WHAT!" Shouted Conan, his face reddening with
anger once more.
At the precise moment Conan finished the bellow of a
gigantic beast blasted from behind him. Conan spun around and felt his heart
sink into his stomach. It was a prehistoric beast from the worst of his
nightmares.
"I'd suggest you climb, Conan. Fast!" Challenger
sternly suggested.
Conan was about to curse Challenger when the monstrous beast
spotted him and began its charge.
Conan leaped for the highest handhold he could reach and
began climbing frantically. The beast behind him was quite sizable; at least
thirty feet tall and closing fast.
Challenger scrambled as well, moving swiftly, but carefully
at the same time. He had the better lead, so wasn't worried about the beast's
reach, but he was worried about his friend. Though stubborn and hotheaded at
times, he was truly a remarkable man with great writing talent and a genius for
forensics and an imagination to die for. He looked back and saw Conan wasn't
going to make it.
"Hurry, Conan. Hurry!"
Conan scrambled as fast as he could, but the beast was
faster. Its huge mouth, filled with rows of razor sharp teeth and a ghastly
stinking breath opened up to envelope him. At the moment it was ready to seize
him from the mountain wall, a rope coiled over his backpack and tightened, and
he was swung away from the wall, screaming like a madman.
The beast's jaws slammed into the mountain wall, nearly
knocking Challenger from his precarious perch above, but he managed to hang on,
then resituate himself so he could swing Conan higher and out of the monsters
reach.
Conan became a dangling carrot for the monster, who would
swipe at Conan to eat him, shortly before he was jerked away and a bit higher.
"Damn you, Challenger! Either feed me to him or get me
out of here!" Cursed Conan.
Challenger strained at Conan's weight. He was almost equal
to Challenger's body mass, even though shorter by a foot, then he grunted and
made a Herculean effort and just as the beast launched itself upwards to seize
Conan, he pulled him the rest of the way up and into his arms.
The beast landed below and bellowed its rage and frustration
as both Conan and Challenger gasped for air and strength.
The beast paced below them, looking for a way up it could
traverse.
"Just think, even if you could have managed to escape
its mouth, those front feet, which look an awful lot like hands would have
caught you."
"Don't remind me."
"Not my intention at all."
Conan gave Challenger a sour look.
"It's not happy to have lost its meal,
Challenger."
"Would you be?"
"Yes. I think I'd very poor eating."
Challenger laughed and helped Conan to a better grip on the
mountain. "I suppose you would with that salty attitude of yours. Too much
salt in a meal can be very disheartening."
The beast below looked to be going away, just looking back
now and then to look at them, as if mourning for its missed meal.
"I don't like the look of that creature's gaze upon us,
Challenger."
"Nor I."
They both began climbing upwards as fast as they could,
almost recklessly, but just short of that, sending sprays of rock off the
mountain side to bounce down below, where the beast turned around, then stormed
the mountain wall with all its strength. At the last moment when it looked like
it might smash into the side of the mountain, it made a tremendous leap. Its
upper clawed feet, which resembled hands shot upwards as it sprung into the
air.
Incredibly, it caught hold of the mountain side, and with a
roar of triumph began scaling the edifice below the two humans, its mouth open
wide, saliva drooling between its enormous teeth and lips in anticipation of
the meal it expected to obtain.
"Blast it all!" Conan cursed.
"What?"
Challenger looked down.
"Bloody beast is climbing after us!"
"Challenger, your boot is on my right hand."
"Sorry."
He lifted it and then began climbing again, this time more
recklessly. Conan followed as swiftly as he could below him, urging every ounce
of strength from his body. In minutes they'd managed to maintain their lead,
but the beast was close behind. So close that both men could smell its foul breath
on their heels.
Challenger paused once to pry a stone free and send it
tumbling at the beast, who only flicked it away with its snout, not slowing it
down for a second.
"Oh Tosh!" Challenger cursed, and then pushed
upwards, struggling to keep his aching muscles from giving out.
Conan was doing little better, and much worse. Challenger
could hear him gasping for air. He knew his friend would never make it. What
could he do? What could he do?"
Then an idea flashed in his mind. He immediately dismissed
it, but when he looked down he saw that Conan had fallen further behind and the
beast was almost upon him.
"Oh Bloody Hell!" Challenger cursed, then shrugged
off his backpack and flung it at the beast, which was so intent on Conan it
didn't see it coming. The backpack struck its left eye and blinded it. The
beast let out a howl of rage and let go of the mountain face with one front
paw, almost tumbling away.
Challenger crossed himself quickly, then let go of his hand
hold.
"Challenger no!" Conan cried out as his friend
fell past him, arms out.
Conan turned about to look as Challenger fell, not to the
earth far below, but upon the beast's large snout. It roared like it had been
violated in the worst possible way and with its remaining free paw broke it
free and swung at him, the same time as Challenger leaped for the mountainside.
The beast roared in rage and anger as it lost its grip on
the mountainside and fell head over heels towards the ground below.
Challenger caught hold of the mountainside, but barely. The
rock he held onto was crumbling beneath his grip. Just when he thought he
couldn't hold onto his grip anymore, a strong hand clasped his arm and caught
him as he fell.
He looked up. Conan, red-faced, his eyes wide as small
moons, smiled into his face. "You're not getting away from me that
easily!"
Conan swung Challenger back to the mountainside and he
caught hold of a better grip and righted himself properly. He swiped a hand
across forehead, which was bleeding.
"You're hurt." Conan pointed out.
"No, just my bloody pride, being rescued by an
overweight sausage."
Conan burst into laughter.
Challenger grinned up at him. "I apologize for my
former behavior."
Conan grinned back at
him. "You saved my life twice. I'd say we're even."
"Hey!" Challenger hollered at him.
Conan laughed, and then began scrambling up the mountain,
ignoring Challenger's curses beneath him. It had turned out to be a good day
after all. A very good day indeed. And now if only he could get home in time
for a warm meal with his beloved wife.